"Sometimes giving up is the only option. Not because you don't want to have it anymore, but it's because you can't."

I worry sometimes, wonder. If you feel anger, if you feel hurt and pain. Or if you understand.

I wonder if I'm that important at all. 

The past is my present. It walks with me.

I cannot discard it, leave it. It's there. A constant reminder.

I don't mind it sometimes.

I try not to mind. It's not like I have a choice.

Oh well.

I walk a different path. The struggles are not over, not even close. Most of them are still pending, some haven't even started.

But I am free of one. A battle of denial. 

The part about accepting that part of who you are, whether right or wrong. Whether good or bad.

Brings you one step closer to understanding the ground you walk on. The things you say. The way you act. The choices you make. Your reactions.

Brings you one step closer to clarity. 

Right or wrong. Good or bad. You are who you are. What you decide with that knowledge, well, that is up to you.

That is your test. That is what decides the path you set upon.

But fighting with yourself trying to deny the truth about you, is exhausting. Time consuming. 

Spirals you out of control. You make the wrong decisions. You push people away.

Until one day you realize you're in no man's land. 

You're lost. 

Understanding yourself. Brings you peace. It doesn't solve problems. 

But it helps you get a grip on your reality. And that, is something most cannot dare confirm.

I am at peace with myself. Out of a million things I do not understand, a million things I still do not see,

I get at least one thing. And what I do with this who knows?

Who knows.